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It's funny how the first post was about my day 1 in Melbourne, but now here I am, preparing to leave.

As I pull out the 'Welcome' booklets to pack into a cardboard box, my initial excitement upon arrival suddenly hits me. I suddenly remember how it felt to be going to the university of my choice—the trepidation, the anticipation of moving to a new state, and starting a new life.

Now, I'm moving out of Melbourne and back home.

I don't know what to feel.

On one hand, I am happy to go home. I have missed everyone in my family, and I have missed the ease of travelling around and having so many things to do and places to go to for fun. In Melbourne, although the city is beautiful, and there are many cafes, but I do not think it is particularly my type of lifestyle. Not that it matters anyway, because I like to stay at home.

I loved my experience at Monash.

It was the perfect environment for me to flourish academically, and I am sad that I'm about to leave. I will miss the cold weather and the comfortable learning environment. The Macs in the library, and the small but lovely campus. I will miss being an absolute nobody, and not having the pressure to make friends or take part in university activities, while having abundant opportunities should I want to.

Although it is ultimately my decision, I'm not sure if I was the major influencer of that decision.

I am afraid.

I'm not sure what the future will entitle.

I'm transferring to a university back home, but I'm not sure if that's enough to make me happy. I'm not sure if I can keep up with the competitive pace and the bell curves. I'm not sure if I can get along well with my peers, and I'm not sure if I'll feel small when everyone around me has already made friends.

But I want to believe I'll be able to do it.

And I know I always have the people around me to rely on.


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